The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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