She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize