you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
