I am puke
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
