Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
