Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
