Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
