The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
vagina is talking i cant
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
