ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
