OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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