Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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