help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
