And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So. Much. Porn.
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