my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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