Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dick very happy bro
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm always down for nudity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize