we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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