i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's blow job season.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
