I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
