You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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