She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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