I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
