I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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