No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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