He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
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i think my cat just said my name.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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