I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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