Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
