just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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