The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize