I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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