Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
