yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I didn't notice because vodka
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
