what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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