I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
