I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
