My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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