Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
