Nicole vs. Life
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
