So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
