Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

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(813): View more from Florida

he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"

(305): View more from Florida

does that mean he doesn't last long?

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(240): View more from Maryland

I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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(253): View more from Washington

So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.

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(716): View more from New York

She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.

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