I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
