You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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