Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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