just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize