How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
