My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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