When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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