Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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