I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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