you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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