is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize