i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think your dad took our porno
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
