i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
