I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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