people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
