you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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