That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
nutella sex= disaster
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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