sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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