Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
