I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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