Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
