Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
