like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
