I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
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