so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
