someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
