never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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