i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
